SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Sun Dance, Deals, Hat Hair

With New York’s fast pace making me feel more insane than usual, I jumped at the opportunity to escape to the snowy mountains of Park City, Utah for this year’s Sundance Film Festival and festivities. As I packed my thermals, Polartec, wool sweaters and huge robotic-like ski gloves, I was seriously excited to be somewhere [...]

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Idiots Prepping for Australia

I’ve never been to Australia, but apparently a lot of morons are planning to go. These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humor (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!) Was just too good [...]

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Holy Experiences and Puppets

So the modern world and I broke up for two weeks this summer. Those weeks in August when I was MIA? I was in India with no phone, no twitter, tumblr, internet or facebook. It was GREAT. Since my return, I’ve been doing what other people call “processing” the trip in the hopes of being able [...]

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Restored Faith in the US Government

No, this has nothing to do with Obama or the subprime mortgage crisis or anything political. I’m going on a big trip soon (more on that later) which requires obtaining a visa (annoying.) Luckily, my passport is up to date and valid though like 2017, with the worst picture of me ever taken. I check out [...]

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Signs You Need a Vacation

1. You’ve started taking baths instead of showers so you can wiggle your toes in water and make-believe the sea salt you strategically placed in your tub is sand. 2. You can’t recall your last pleasure trip because it was SO long ago. Literally, I’m scanning my mind right now, no idea what or when it was… 3. Ah, that’s [...]

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Life Forms Outside of New York: DC Edition

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about my recent trip to Vermont entitled ‘Life Forms Outside of New York.’ This is the Washington DC edition. Yes, I voyaged to our nation’s capital. This is always a frightening prospect. I worry: Will DC citizens quiz me on my knowledge of American history on random street corners? Will I confuse [...]

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Lobster Banana

I’ll fess up to it. The glittering ‘FABulousness’ of Miami isn’t really what I wanted to do for New Year’s. I’m apparently going through something my friends now call “my hippie phase” which in short means I no longer dress like I’m going to diva-walk down a high fashion runway when I go out (probably [...]

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Live from Spirit Flight 206 to Miami

Every winter around this time a mass exodus occurs. New Yorkers fly away in packs because five months of consecutive winter is just too much for anyone spoiled enough to live in the Big Apple to bear. The destination? Always somewhere warm, except for those NYC crazies obsessed with skiing, snowshoeing, and vacations in Aspen. Last year, I [...]

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The Rambling Road

Friday Evening, 9:00 p.m.Port Authority Bus Terminal I am sitting on a Greyhound Bus. We were supposed to leave an hour ago. The girl behind me starts to lose her composure. “Can’t we just, like, leave?” She says to no one in particular. “We’re like an hour late.” She has one of those grating voices made to command [...]

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Around the World in 3 Cocktails

Last Friday, I went to Italy, Russia, India and Greece. Uh-huh. And I didn’t even have to ride the dreaded monorail at JFK. Instead, I attended Nadia Digilov’s launch party for Celebrating in Style, a company dedicated to providing authentic, multicultural experiences. The company does this in two ways. First, through their event planning sector, Celebration Chique and [...]

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