SelfAbsorbed.ME : ‘It’s Your Life, We Just Write it Funnier’

Life Forms Outside of New York

This past weekend I voyaged to Vermont. Everyone said I’d morph into an icicle, not realizing that risk of death by frostbite wasn’t the point. I just wanted to get Out. Of. Manhattan. Let me reiterate: OUT! Sure we love the chaos, the clubs, dodging people’s spit and watching drunk men use our discarded water bottle as urinals [...]

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It’s still me, Bartok!

So, after nearly 2 weeks of silence, I have finally gotten word from Miss Model Behavior!!! Since her departure, an unfamiliar silence with echoes of loneliness and an impending sense that I am destined to be an old cat lady, has descended over my life in the absence of our almost constant contact - as [...]

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Blasting Out

So we made it through Christmas only slightly scathed, and I realize I’ve also been trashing New York New Years right and left. I guess the question on everyone’s mind is ‘Well Model Behavior, since you’ve trash talked every end of the year activity known to man, what are you doing for New Years?” Answer: I [...]

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The Party Planner

At a common friend of ours’ house a few weeks ago, Mr. T somehow cajoled me into throwing another party at his house. Cajoled? Who am I kidding? I love the party spotlight, but New York house party planning is a big responsibility – a task I felt up to in the dog days of July over [...]

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Picketing, Shoes, and Japanese Babies

Today I picked in a hail storm outside of Viacom (or ViaCON as our posters said) with fellow writers, including the head writers of Sesame Street, SNL and CSI. I’ll spare the photos since we all look like shit. On the bright side, the WGA-East was extremely well prepared with ponchos, umbrellas, cute, fuzzy WGA [...]

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Pink Scarves & TV Stars

I haven’t been to Pink in weeks. I was under the impression that I’d actually kicked my Thursday night addiction, yet somehow got dragged there (I blame the wine at dinner) for Wilhelmina’s Modeling Agency’s 40th Anniversary after party last night. The first thing I noticed as I approached the 27th street strip of debauchery [...]

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Why Colder Can be Cooler

Saturday night something magical happened. I walked to Via Della Pace for dinner (an Italian restaurant I highly recommend, the lobster ravioli’s sinful and affordable – just be prepared to pay in cash) and then (surprise surprise) danced the night away at a cheesy club. At the beginning of the night, I strolled to the [...]

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